Is this poem any good?

I like this a lot but have just a few criticisms. I didn't like the line, 'High spirits fill my whistle'. This poem has atmosphere and that line does not fit in but only in my opinion. I'm not too keen on 'hack me sore' - if you feel that these remarks ring true with you I would like to see a re-write. This is original writing and my only purpose in answering questions is to encourage writers not to make them go away and hide. To sum up this is an excellent write but I would like to see another draft. Thanks for sharing.